Its the new year, a time to reflect. Its a symbolic time to let go of old baggage and start new.  The first 3 weeks of January is a especially thought-filled time for me. I remember the anniversary of both my parent’s deaths and I celebrate a birthday. These personal bookmarks of my life help me reflect on what is and isn’t in my life. The rest of the year is kind of simple, because I just walk the treadmill of life. In January, the bookmarks remind me to stop and think.

Also as I approach a milestone birthday, this year I am aware of what I don’t know. In your 20′s and 30′s, you think you know everything. I’m finding the older I get that is less true. I truly have more life experience, but the bigger picture is much less clear. I am often perplexed by the have and have nots. Why is is that some people have certain things and other’s do not? Wealth, talent, intellect, creativity, and health are few words that describe things that many of us either have or have not.  I realize its not always a black line between have and have not. You’re not just wealthy or poor, there’s room for grey in there. It just seems some people have “more” of some gifts then others.

I have been blessed with having artistic/creative abilities. I hear all the time “you’re so talented.” I like to hear that, it keeps me motivated. However, it also makes me wonder “why do I have this built-in ability and others don’t?” In the same thought process, I can think “why can’t I sing and others can?” I don’t even like to sing in the shower because I know I sound so bad.

Stopping and reflecting this time of year is my way of  processing it all. I reflect on what I have and don’t have. I stop and think why is this a good thing? I try to find ways to change what isn’t so good. I don’t know why I have all that I do or experienced all that I did, but I do know that it makes me, me. Someday I’ll have all the answers, for know I just don’t know and that’s OK.

Note about the image: “Metamorphosis” by Nanette S. Zeller, 14” x 11”.  Life is ever changing. Through each stage may you emerge more beautiful than from the last.

When I got home I did what most quilters do with their stash…I stashed it. The fabric sat for another year. In December 2010, I decided it was time to make this quilt. Sister’s birthday is in January, I thought I could get it done in time for her special day. I purchased some more fabric, brown this time. I think red and brown looks really good together and brown is definitely not thought of as a Christmas color. Then, life got busy. My sister visited me in January and I showed her the lovely fabrics that would soon be her birthday gift that wouldn’t be delivered on her birthday.

Flash forward to June (Yes, June!), and another opportunity to visit with my sister. I had just taken the sewing machine repair class and decided that my sister’s quilt needed to be quilted on my grandmother’s sewing machine. I quilted it and then added the binding on my way to the family reunion (thank goodness for long car rides). While binding, I noticed I had some severe tension issues with my quilting. The question…”Do I pass it on in this condition? or Bring it home again?” Yes, you guessed it, being the perfectionist I try not to be, I showed it to sister and carried it back home.

If you’re a quilter, you may understand that at this point I just really wanted it to go away. At the very least I had to walk away from it for awhile. OK, I agree 5 months does sound like a long time, but life got busy again. Last month, I tackled the inner procrastinator and ripped out all the problem stitches. I then put it back under my grandmother’s machine and re-stitched the newly unquilted areas. Success!

Yesterday my sister received her new quilt. Freshly washed with its batting all crinkled. On the same day at her home, the sky dumped snow. I’m sorry, sister, that your quilt took so long. I am glad you got it in time to show off this Christmas and through to your birthday next year. Unfortunately, my naming of the quilt, well it was inspired by your photo  from last year (left) and it seems be an omen to your upcoming winter season, so “Let it Snow, Ho Ho Ho!”

In August, my father’s sister (my godmother) passed to the next world. With her passing, I am aware that I am quickly becoming the “oldest” generation alive in my family. Needless to say with the big 50 approaching, I’m feeling older than my years. I’m calling it a mid-life crisis, even though I’m well passed mid-life (I don’t expect to live to 100). I want to get more out of life. That’s what makes what I’m doing exciting. I’m making larger footsteps in my journey and I’m finding it quite exciting.

So in this light, even though I know it is near the end of November, I have to tell you about another adventure that I had in October. It was a bittersweet journey that was extremely powerful for me.

My godmother’s memorial service was held in Florida in late October. Where she lived in Florida isn’t very convenient to airports and if I flew I would have to rent a car. It looked like the best opportunity to get to the services was to drive. Unfortunately, finding a travel partner wasn’t promising. So I made the decision to travel alone and make it a 5-day journey. I had never done this before, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me.

As it turned out, on the way to Florida, I was able to stop in SW Georgia to meet someone who was selling her collection of sewing machines. A friend of mine met me there and hauled the machines off to his house for me to pick up later.

My next stop was Florida. Before my godmother’s services, I put myself on a mission to see a live manatee. On a rainy Saturday morning, I found myself alone in a wonderful state park/zoo. I was mesmerized with this opportunity of watching the gorgeous animals and birds without the disturbance of other people (except the keepers). No kids screaming, or people talking, or competition for that fabulous photo opportunity. For 2 hours I was in heaven…and I got to see the manatee.

The next day I was on the road again to visit family in Savannah, GA. I really love that town and I love my cousin who lives there. I had a great time and the next day found myself on the road home. The 5-day journey was over.

Between my highlighted stops, I had a lot of time to be alone. I listened to upbeat music on my XM radio. I thought a million thoughts. Cried a few tears. I was awestruck by the beauty of the country-side which I drove. And I surprised myself, by how much I enjoyed my journey and being alone. Well not completely alone, I did pick up a hitchhiker at McDonalds who became my mascot for the road trip. Now that I’m home, I’m anxious for another opportunity for a road trip. Who knew, I would really like traveling alone.

When I started writing this post, I was sitting in a beach front home in Virginia watching the waves crash the shore. My sewing machine was waiting, in front of the window, for me to start her up and work on my project.  When I got tired of sewing, I could look up and stare at the beach front…what a view!

I was there on a quilting retreat with 11 other like-mined professional art quilters. These women were extremely enthusiastic about having a few days to walk away from their busy lives and dedicate to their sewing passion. I was quite impressed with the talent that surrounded me. I was also very impressed with them as individuals. Each of them had a sense of calm about them that radiated throughout the house. No worries, just enjoyment!

Each morning I awoke with the enthusiasm of a child at Christmas. I would jump from my bed and peer out the window to see the sun start to peak over the ocean horizon. I would quickly get dressed and walk to the shore and sit down to watch the sun rise from the depths of the sea. Wow! Each morning the view was just as spectacular as the previous morning. I felt so comforted sitting there in this vast space watching the birds and dolphins play. I truly needed this down time.

I also needed the creative time. Ideas are streaming, spurred on by conversations, challenges, and sheer beauty that surrounded me that weekend. During the weekend, I started and completed a 12″x12″ cat portrait, that I’m calling “Scat Cat.” This piece was made especially for Animal Advocates of Moore County and their annual silent auction fund raiser in December. They are doing good things and I’m glad to help them. This piece is special to me, because of the memories of the weekend it was created. I wish I could always work with a sewing machine with a view like that.

Taking time to focus on my art has been very cathartic. During the process I’m contemplating on what makes me happy and where I want to be. I’m letting my art happen during this mindful experience and I’m discovering a lot. I think everyone needs to spend some time alone. Being rushed or having others demand your attention doesn’t allow you to truly focus on what’s right in front of you. Its important to understand what is driving you, or not. Taking time to reflect on your journey is very rewarding.

What also is rewarding is the art work I’m producing. Pictured on this post is my newest piece, “Solitude” (dimensions: 36” x 46″). It’s not quite a quilt and not quite a painting, but contains components of both. Its embellished with thread-painting, which is basically using thread as your paint and the sewing machine as the brush (I love doing this). The leaf is created entirely from thread. The entire piece is pure me, mixed media and fiber.

For me, the mighty silhouette of the tree (red maple) is a powerful image. Strength, beauty, patience, power, are a few words that I conjure in my mind. I’m also reminded to hang on for the ride and stay grounded, even if things don’t go so smoothly. This month has helped me realize how fortunate I am in many ways. If you can find the time, I encourage you to spend it alone with yourself. Its amazing what you can discover in the solitude.

The reason was I didn’t understand them. There was something mysterious about them. When things didn’t work right I often assumed it was me. Early on, I learned to obey my sewing machine mechanic when he said “Don’t touch that tension dial?’ or “Don’t open up your machine?”  Stuff goes wrong when you sew and I thought understanding the mechanics of these ingenious machines might make life easy. Just “why” did it go wrong? User error? Thread issues? Burrs? Needle problems? How do you teach if you don’t understand what’s going on?

I solved that problem a couple weeks ago when Dear Husband and I spent 4 full days learning how to repair sewing machines. We talked, ate, slept and dreamed about sewing machines all 4 days. It was a wonderful opportunity to spend time with my husband, to learn under the tutelage of Ray White and be amongst the company of 9 other enthusiastic learners (all more experienced then us). I obtained a lot of knowledge during that week, both from Ray and my comrades in class.

I am now a mechanic, a novice mechanic…but a mechanic non-the-less. I GET IT! I understand and above all appreciate how these machines work. I respect the genius of the craftsmen of the 1800′s who engineered the first machines. The ingenuity of these first machines is the basis of every sewing machine today, computerized or not. The guts are all basically the same.

I also learned something else…I learned respect and admiration for the old machines. I own a treadle machine and my Grandmother’s 1950 Singer (model #15-91). But until Ray’s class, I never really understood their value. They were often clumped into my brain as one of those “old black machines.” My comrades showed me the way to the “dark side,” exposing me to the quality and workmanship of these workhorses. Machines 50 to 100 years old can often out perform, and most definitely outlast, the plastic disposable machines they sell today.

When I got home, I loaded up my Grandmother’s 15-91 and started quilting (pictured top right). It was like a “V-8″ moment. Why was I looking for newer machines when I had this gem? Grandma knew best.

Since the class, I re-inherited my mother’s Singer 66-16 (pictured bottom right). The very machine I learned to sew on. This cast iron beauty unfortunately has some issues that need attention and isn’t quite ready for prime time. However, after some cleaning, lubrication, and re-wiring this baby will be back to doing what she was made for…sewing up a storm. Currently, she’s what’s I’m working on. As I progress through this part of my journey as an fiber artist, I’ll be dropping in now and again to show you what’s on my bench. Hang in there, because this is gonna be fun!

As we’re progressing through summer, I’m reminded of last year. It was a long hot summer, filled with difficult emotions brought on from caring for my old dog, Storm. We loved him for 13 years and I was forced to make the hardest decision of my life last August. It was a sad time for me, but this year things are much better. I’m very happy for my buddy, Storm. He’s traveling the world this next year and smiling his silly smile at anyone who cares to look. Earlier this year he was spotted in Salt Lake City. I suspect he’ll be in Chicago this August. Possibly in Long Beach later this month and most likely in Houston this Fall.

And if you want, he could grace you with his company.

No I haven’t lost my marbles, my buddy Storm the German Shepherd Dog is Mr. September in the Quilting Arts 2012 Calendar. You can buy your own copy of the calendar and see his handsome-ness close up. Or you can put yourself at any number of venues, where the folks at Quilting Arts Magazine might be, and maybe see him in person. Well at least my thread-painted rendition of his awesomeness. He’ll be touring with Quilting Arts Magazine until the end of next year.

Storm was born in September, so its quite ironic that he was chosen to represent this month in the calendar. The moral is, when things are difficult, do your best to work your way through…one foot, then the other. In the end, when you look back you may see that something special has come from the journey. For me, my difficulties last summer brought me here so I can introduce you to my new favorite playboy, Mr. September.

It is truly a weird feeling to stop at a store that you’ve frequented for years and see a magazine on the rack that contains something your wrote. When my pincushion article came out in Quilts and More magazine this February, I was surprised to see it at all the grocery stores in town. I would see it and giggle inside, then poke my husband and say, “Look, its MY magazine.” The thrill has inspired me to try to  get published more, unfortunately, I can’t say anything about what I’m trying. You’ll just have to wait and see.

Since we last met, I was happily selling kits for the “Early Bloomers” pincushion on my Etsy store, busy editing a sewing book, having fun inspiring new sewers in my sewing classes at the community college, and dreaming about what’s next. In the furry of activity, I visited with my aunt in the Bay area and helped her with the process of down-sizing as she moves onto the next chapter of her life.  Just a busy month of stuff going on … freelance style.

During all of this, Spring happened. The dogwoods are in full bloom, the daffodils have come and gone, the azaleas are preparing to explode. Its spring!!! My favorite season.

Here in the south spring comes early, but doesn’t seem to stay very long. And, that’s true for Better Homes and Garden’s Quilts and More, Spring 2011 magazine.  The spring edition appeared in early February and will be gone from the shelves by April 26. If you haven’t seen my article, make it a point to look for it or you can order a copy from my Etsy store. This 15 minutes of fame is fading from my life, like the tulips in my yard, all too quickly.

Through all of this I’m reminded, that life is short and you should do what you love. We’re all on a journey of hills and valleys which makes it especially important to stop and take in the beauty when it appears. Spring is a great time of year to remember that.

He came to us named “Luke,” as in “Luke Skywalker” from Star Wars fame. We decided that name just didn’t fit his personality. At the time, Desert Storm (the first Gulf War) was in full swing and there was one name that was frequently in the headlines. “Stormin’ Norman” Swartkoff. This Army General had an attitude that you knew would win the war, but you could also sense he had a big soft side. General Swartkoff’s personality, matched that of our new German shepherd pup. So, we decided to name our pup in honor of this Army hero. We called him “Storm.”

Storm filled the void of the child I would never have. He and I attended obedience classes and competed in agility competitions. He won ribbons and made me smile. Storm was always the center of attention. Always! And seemed to love letting me take pictures of him, such beautiful pictures. It was a sad, sad time for me last August, when I had to make the decision to put his old body out of pain. Although we had other animals in our home, Storm was my life. Everything revolved around him, he always needed special attention.

Around the same time that I had to make the decision, Quilting Arts Magazine announced their 2012 calendar contest. The theme: “Feeling Pet-ty.” I decided to use this opportunity to challenge myself and apply some techniques that I had been dabbling with. I definitely was feeling “Pet-ty.”

I submitted my entry “A Perfect Storm” and waited. Mid-January (a day before my birthday) I got word that out of hundreds of entries, “Storm” was one of  the 23 finalists. I had to pack him up and send him to Massachusetts and wait to hear the 13 winners. Yesterday, a day before Valentine’s Day, I got the word…Storm made it!!!! My buddy will be featured in the 2012 Quilting Arts Magazine. They won’t return him to me until late 2012, while he’s gone he’ll be traveling the quilt show circuit. I’ll try to catch up with him when I can.

So even after he left my life…this dog continues to be an important part of it. What a wonderful birthday and Valentine’s gift he’s given me! For without him, I would have never entered this contest. Little buddy, you have truly left your paw prints on my heart.

Note: In respect to Quilting Arts, I will refrain from showing a full photo of my finished piece. You’ll have to wait  to see it when the calendar come out later this year.

Its on the shelf now! So, go check it out at your local magazine rack. My “Early Bloomers” pin keeper will be happily waiting to see you on pages 26-29. Along with my pincushion, there are some great patterns. I adore the owl quilt and hamburger pincushion is pretty darn fun.

I’ve been making pincushions for several years. The basic shape was simple, but the toppers just weren’t working for me. You’ll find several renditions if you look back through the pages of this blog. In an attempt to streamline my sewing process, I developed a unique zinnia flower design. The pincushion was so easy to make I decided it was a good project to pattern and kit. Thanks to the folks at Better Homes and Garden Quilts and More magazine, the pattern is available in their Spring 2011 publication. Thanks to my Etsy shop you can purchase the kit to make one in any of the three pictured colors.

This is exciting for me for a couple of reasons. Not that I haven’t been published before, but you may have missed the handful of articles I wrote for now-defunct e-magazine titled Fibre and Stitch. And I’m sure its unlikely you saw the 1995 publication of my graduate research in Wilson Bulletin (a scientific ornithological journal). This publication is different because it is a widely distributed National magazine and one that I love to read.

The other reason it excites me is because my godmother had faith in me. When I first got word of the acceptance, my godmother told me she always looked at the Better Homes and Gardens quilt magazines (they have several) and hoped to find me published within it. I couldn’t tell her then, but I can now…her dream came true and I am so happy that she should live to see it. Today a copy of the magazine and one of the pincushions is heading her way with my love.

I’m blessed in many ways. I’m also happy to know that the next half century of my life I will be working in an industry that I love. I’m glad you’re joining me on this journey. Here’s to a life filled with textiles, wool, misc. fibers, and dreams.

Note: This is a quarterly published magazine that should remain available until April 26. Can’t find it? I have some for sale on my Etsy shop along with the fabric kits and the crushed walnut shell filling to make your own pincushion.