Wishes and Fishes

Thirty-three years ago today, I was a scared 14 year old kid. I experienced a fate that most people don’t experience until they reach adulthood. I would have to grow up fast. January 6, 1977 was a day that would change my life forever…my mother died suddenly from heart failure.

I don’t specifically know what would be different about my life if my mother were still alive, but I do know I view many things differently through these fate-filled glasses that I wear. We all have life experiences that mold our being, so I’m not asking for sympathy. Life happens to all of us.

What hits me heavily this anniversary, is the reality of mortality and time. In a few weeks, I will reach an age older than my mother lived on this Earth. She died 3 months before her 48th birthday. I turn 48 in a few weeks. I have officially outlived my mother.

In my late teens, I remember working in a retail store and the subject of my mother came up.  The “older” ladies I was talking to were surprised to hear how “young” my mother was when she passed. My youth filled mind couldn’t understand them. Forty-seven is old…or so I thought back then.

So what does this anniversary mean? It’s making me step back and review my life, not just my last year, as most do this time of year.  I hope I live longer than  my mother and I hope I can achieve some of my “wishes” in life. I remember her saying to me “If wishes were fishes, we’d all be in the sea.”

Until recently, I had a difficult time understanding this statement. I “thought” I knew what she meant.  I did a Google search and found that the actual phrase is  “If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets in the sea.” Maybe I remember wrong, or maybe she just said it wrong, either way, now I get it.

I look at this year ahead of me and I think of wishes and fishes, and realize that I must act on my dreams. If obtaining a dream or wish were easy, we’d all be catching them. I have my whole life in front of me. I hope I live to see another year; I hope I see at least a few more decades. But fate has a way of interfering, so you must live for the day, strive for your dreams and don’t just sit there and wait for the bounty. The bountiful harvest happens through hard work and proactive ambition.  This year, I plan to remember what my mother was trying to tell me. Here’s to all the fishes in the sea!